Painting with a 17 month old

This week I decided to get some paint and see what happens. She has come home from nursery on a number of occasions with little paintings, or the report has been that they’ve been doing some painting. It was a nice sunny day so I stripped her down and let her go wild with the paint in the garden. Most of the paint went on herself…..a bit like the yoghurt moisturiser situation!​

Amelia’s learnt how to moisturise….

Since she was tiny we have always added in a ‘creaming’ step to the bath time routine where we basically slather her in Cetraben cream. In the last week or so I have been letting her rub a bit into her tummy herself. Slight fail for me when I thought she was ready for me to squirt it onto her hand because she tried to eat it. But today she decided to cream herself with the yoghurt I let her try devour by herself. The end result included yoghurt rubbed into the wall, the cupboards and the bench but this video shows her mid moisturising…..

The (mummy) dating game

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The beauty that brightens everyday, whatever else is occurring!

This week I’ve been leaving my comfort zone and making some first moves.I signed up to an app called Mush (http://www.letsmush.com/) which is a place where you can meet other mums, with similar aged children and are perhaps like-minded. There are some categories to describe what kind of a person you are, and a section to put a short bio. I logged in and spent some time browsing people local to me and wondering who I might contact. I questioned what children’s age range worked for us (thinking 12 months to perhaps 3 years worked well for playdates). I scrutinized the photo’s the mummies had uploaded – not rating for level of beauty but trying to guess ages – thinking that someone that might be similar in age would be a good start. By the time I had put these two criteria in place it had narrowed the options down quite a lot. I added in a mum who was really local but her baby was only several weeks old. Anyhow, I contacted the first three on the list, those who were most local, fitted the criteria of approximate age of mum and age of child, and seemed to have a similar outlook (‘tea lover’ was a good descriptor!).

Replies came through surprisingly quickly. It pretty quickly became apparent that the mummy with the younger baby wasn’t like-minded currently. She was on maternity leave and had all the time in the world to go to every baby group know to mum. She was really good at suggesting all the groups that were fantastic but not so much at wanting to meet up. The other two mummies I contacted were so much easier to message, and after a quick chat ‘dates’ have been set up, which I’m really nervous about but at the same time relieved to know that there may be hope out there. I will keep you posted as to how they went.

In addition to signing up to Mush I looked on Netmums (http://www.netmums.com/) to revisit what groups are going on locally, and on what days. Turns out there are a few groups but quite a lot of them just don’t work for the days I have off. But I’ve found a mum and toddler Yogabellies (http://www.yogabellies.co.uk/) class that’d work, and I’ve made contact with a view to going along in September as there’s a little break coming up. There’s also a local mother and baby/toddler group thats had really good press and is pretty popular. This runs on my other day off. So I’m going to try and make it along to that group.

We’ve also got a family membership to the gym and so far we’re really happy with it. We went on the weekend and there was a really good family atmosphere. Daddy and I used the gym, we all went swimming together, and then Amelia devoured the pancakes on offer! It’s got great facilities, including a creche, play area in the cafe and swimming lessons for Amelia. Also, as she gets older there’s lots of activity groups and classes she can try out too. I’ve been trying to be proactive at attending classes to try and meet people (and I’ve made lots of small talk so far), and I’ve been getting some solo workouts in to try and follow through with my new years resolutions (https://newmummydiary.co.uk/2016/01/11/new-year-new-resolutions/) and just using it as a time to destress and try and process my worries. I’m really enjoying it, and hopefully will stick with the regular visits!

Finally, I’ve really tried to spend some time visiting, and planning meet ups with those friends I already cherish to reinforce the fact that I am not alone at all. I have an amazing set of friends and family who I love dearly!

So, I’m making a start, and feel like I’m heading in the right direction. I’m also aiming to be a bit better with the blogging frequency because I find it very therapeutic to put my experiences down on paper (or should I say screen?).

Any more suggestions greatly received, otherwise I will get back to my ‘dating’!

A fun day was had…

First of all I can only say that everyone that reads this blog is amazing! You are all really kind, and very helpful!

It’s been reassuring to know that many other mums have had similar experiences when making the transition to motherhood. It was also really helpful to see how different the ideas and thoughts about how many, and what kind of friendships people have made post-baby. The tips on how to approach making friends was really helpful too. One lovely mum said she found an app called ‘Mush’ good – it’s a bit like a dating app for mum’s. I’ve downloaded it, signed up, and had a browse. I’m just plucking up the courage to make some first moves! I’m not the best at making the first move (my husband may beg to differ but I’m pretty sure he made the first move), so I just need to spend a few days thinking it over (and probably overanalysing the profiles too much – I really need to stop overanalysing).

We’ve also lined up some weekends of visiting good friends. This weekend includes seeing a great pal who still actually wants to hang out with us despite the fact that I convinced her, and her then few month old, to come to Malta with me and Amelia. Anyone who has read ‘the worst week of my life’ post (https://newmummydiary.co.uk/2015/12/)  will know that Amelia got admitted to hospital on the second day of that trip. So this lovely friend spent the rest of the trip hanging out with her son, my sister now and again, and visiting us in hospital. The best part was that I had suggested at the start of the trip that she could use that trip to assess if she might want to holiday with us again. As I said, I’m surprised she still answers my messages!

But today was great… We went swimming. This sounds really simple, and we were going to regular swimming classes on a Sunday so it may seem odd that I could have this as a highlight of the week. But we joined a gym, and today I took her to the pool for the first time. There was no pressure to be in the pool at a specific time, it was just me and Amelia playing around, and there was no structure to the session. We played in the water, watched the older kids jumping in and splashing around, and Amelia practiced climbing in and out of the pool and up and down the steps! She was in a really happy mood and giggled and did her excited wiggle! She even enjoyed the changing room. Although it became somewhat embarrassing when I turned around to find her presenting me with another woman’s bra (luckily the woman was not around), and even after I put it back she tried to collect it again!

Once again, thank-you so much for being such an awesome community!

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Wanted: a better mood

I write this post whilst struggling to get to sleep. I thought hard about writing this  but I guess a blog is here to talk about what’s going on and how you’re feeling.

Well, at the moment I feel like crap. I feel like I’m just existing, and not living life at all. I’m wandering from one day to the next and just trying to make it through another day.

The hardest part is trying hard to not let Amelia see how I feel because all she wants to do is hang out with me and play, and be happy. It’s not her fault because I’ve felt like this much longer than she’s been around. I knew before she arrived that it’d be harder when she was here because I’d have to fill our time with something other than work.

I’ve lived in my current hometown now for 6 years. I moved to be with my husband, and as such had no-one other than him to move here for. I’ve spent the last six years training and working hard, and using that as the excuse when I realise that, though I have plenty of acquaintances, I haven’t really made any best friends. I could really do with one of those nearby right now.

Perhaps I don’t have the right personality for it but I always suspected it would be really tough being a new mum and trying to find people in similar situations. Rightly or wrongly I didn’t go to any antenatal groups. My reasoning to everyone at the time was that I didn’t need to pay for a course to tell me stuff I could read elsewhere. The truth – I kind of knew that everyone in the group would get on well and that somehow, eventually, I would end up on the sidelines. I didn’t want to feel like that so I didn’t put myself out there at all.

We tried baby groups and I’d have casual chats with other mums but it never went further than that, though I could see friendships evolving around me. I’ve watched friends have their babies, move house and make loads of friends to meet up with. But somehow I’ve just not managed it. I guess it’s something to do with me and my personality.

But I think what I’m finding really tough now is that I feel this pressure to conjure up some friends to make Amelia’s life more fun, and to allow her to grow up making friends easily, and having other children to play with. I love Amelia dearly but at the moment our conversations are still fairly one-sided!  And our lack of people to hang out with in the day, has led to me going out with her less and less. Put it this way – today we didn’t even get dressed. I don’t really know where to take her when it’s just there two of us because it just adds to this feeling of loneliness watching other mums out together, enjoying good company. 

I feel like I need to simply pull myself together but I have no idea where to start. All advice is greatly received (especially since I’d really like to be able to sleep whilst Amelia is sleeping peacefully). And sorry for the really crappy depressing post. I promise to make the next one more cheery.