Disclaimer – I am not in the best mood I could be whilst writing this. My little cherub woke at 4 am. I laid in bed whilst she manhandled me for two hours, before I begged the other half to save me for just an hour so I could deal with the day ahead. As such I am sleep deprived and, worse still, I have a sleep deprived toddler.
I answered the door to the food shopping delivery. I must have left the kitchen for up to five minutes maximum, when I return to this sight….
……A whole box of blueberries strewn over the floor. Her thoughts “Oh no”. My thoughts out loud “Oh no”. My thoughts in my head “Why are you doing this to me? I left the room for five minutes”.
So I ask her if she could help pick them up whilst I unpack the shopping. Her response is to walk through them, squishing them into the floor, and getting very upset as they have dirtied her feet. I mean, seriously, she is an expert at making a mess but somehow doesn’t like to be dirty. That’s going to cause her some serious heartache over the years I should imagine.
After two attempts at suggesting she helps clear up I give in and accept that I am in fact her minion, and it will be me on my hands and knees clearing blueberries from the floor.
This is where the twist occurs. I start collecting them back into the punnet, and she loses it. Screaming at me loses it. Why? Because she actually did want to help? Because she has realised it’s her mess and mummy’s clearing it up? Nope. It’s because I didn’t put the little black mat back in the bottom of the punnet first. And that, according to a toddler, is a disaster. A reason to have a meltdown.
Clearly we are on course to have the best day ever!
Firstly I must apologise for the long silence, and secondly I’m not even sure where to begin as it’s been so long. The balance between having a job and a mobile little one who naps less than previously left me with far less time to myself. In turn, I had to juggle all the tasks that needed to be completed and, sadly, the blog was the easiest to neglect.
I now have a two and a half year old – where does the time fly. Last time I posted she was just 18 months old. So much has happened in the last twelve months – mostly involving her development and how rapidly that seems to occur!
I wont even begin to discuss all of it in one go. But I’m going to set myself some new rules for the blog. I’m going to try to blog more frequently, though it’s likely to be less than I managed previously. In a bid to keep going with the blog, I will probably keep the posts a little shorter. I’m going to stick to posting honest thoughts and situations, because that’s what I want to hear when I read other blogs. I don’t want to dramatize everything, and I also don’t want to appear to live in a perfect little bubble. Because few people really do, if any!
The last twelve months has been a steep learning curve – from what I thought were the terrible two’s come early, to what actually is the terrible two’s! I have juggled my desire to develop my career whilst trying to be a mummy, and not feeling guilty doing so. I have also been attempting to find time for myself, and the opportunity to be just ‘me’ and not ‘mummy’ or ‘doctor’. I find myself in a position, where I genuinely feel I have struck a really good balance, and I am satisfied with how things are going. I can honestly say that it has only been in the last few months where I have gotten to the point where I feel like I’m ‘me’ again, and that I’m on top of things (most of the time).
I have found owning a toddler a real challenge – perhaps more so that anything else I have ever done. Her character and personality is really clear to see now, and she has a lot of my traits. This, weirdly, is one of the most frustrating things I have found. I realise how annoying it must be to live with me at times! And I must be really irrational at times – especially with our shared ‘need’ to have things that we really don’t need!
In a few bullet points I will list some of the changes over the last twelve months. They’re areas I hope to get around to discussing more in a future post:
- She has gone from eating whatever was given to her to having quite the opinion on what she does and doesn’t eat. But – she doesn’t breastfeed anymore.
- Her language skills – she now talks for England!
- Her tantrums are real, and frustrating, and irrational, and persistent. Yet they can all be mostly predicted.
- She loves pink – we have no idea where this love came from but she does!
- She loves to sing and dance and entertain – but only when she’s decided she isn’t shy anymore.
- She loves her babies, and her kitchen, and all her other imaginative play toys.
- She has gone from being sad to go to nursery, to accepting, to devastated, to asking to go.
- She runs, climbs and generally tears around the place.
- We’re in the process of nappy training.
- I finally kept a new years resolution, and have a gym subscription that isn’t going to waste (that is a big milestone in my life)